People Pleasing leaving you Stressed?

Years ago in my teens and early adult years I found myself in the space of People Pleasing. I was attempting to please people who I thought were my friends to “fit in” and I was always just left feeling empty and stressed worrying if they really liked me. I also found this was happening with a couple of boyfriends, one in particular while I was living in Colorado. I quieted my inner knowing of my needs and deepest desires so much that I gained around 50 extra pounds without even realizing it. Funny how fast that can happen right? I was literally burying my inner truth by living through an idea or expectation of how I thought I needed to be in order to be liked or loved in this case.

But what I came to realize by living this way I was showing up authentically me. I learned over time that the more I stressed about what others thought of me and how I lived my life I just felt empty, slowing dying inside, suffocating in a sense. It’s exhausting and takes up so much of my precious time.

But the truth is, what other people think of me is their business not mine and to stay in my lane of what feels good and true to me. Want more reality? Not everyone is going to like you and that’s OKAY. Not everyone is meant to come along on your journey, they just aren’t, that’s what makes us all unique.

You want people that support you and love you for the amazing You that YOU are, raw and unapologetic. Those are YOUR PEOPLE. 

I like to challenge my coaching clients to take 1 week of only saying “YES” to the things that light them up inside. Because when you start saying “No” (which is a complete sentence, no explanations needed), you are really saying “Yes” to You! The more you do this, you will strengthen your connection to your inner knowing and live more authentically!

Are you constant apologizer? Start to recognize the amount of times you apologize for things that you really do not even need to apologize for. Save your apologizes for when you really need forgiveness.

Acknowledge the Fear of being disliked when it comes up and then remind yourself again and again that, what other people think of you is THEIR business, not yours. Your time and energy can be better spent on thinking about how you are going to continue to create a life that feels good for YOU. And remembering that trying to people please is exhausting and is life sucking.

What if you looked at how you spent your energy, whether the thoughts you think and making time to do things......as sacred? Because it is. Your time and energy is sacred. Use it wisely.

Baby steps. You got this. I see you, I hear you, I support you. 

You are Capable.

And keep in mind, this all takes time, practice and tons of grace.