The Need to be Validated

The invalidation you are feeling now is because of an unmet validation you didn't get when you were younger.


Have you ever found yourself in your life desiring the need to feel Validated?


I think sometimes this can also go along the lines of when we feel we have to keep proving ourselves to others or to ourselves. To keep validating to ourselves and others that we Are Something or we are Doing Something with our lives.


But then maybe as a Mother or Father, coming and going and doing. It can sometimes feel like you are not doing enough as a parent. Or maybe you just want to be validated and seen as a Woman or Man again, not just the person that helps keep the little human(s) alive. I have seen many times, how easy it is to lose that sense of what it feels like to be a woman as they take on being a mother for a couple months or years. And when they make their way to me, they ask themselves, who am I anymore?


Or as a young person, acting out or even staying in the shadows. This can look like attention seeking, when all they want is to be seen and heard. I think sometimes that is why people become actors or actresses, trying to get something met inside of them, that validation of being seen, they go to the ultimate, the spot lot to get what they are needing to be healed.


Maybe you had a situation when you were younger that your parents or caregivers were not around a lot because of needing to provide for the family. Or maybe there was substance abuse or abuse you needed to stay "clear" from or maybe the parent was just "absent" or not able to be present when you were home.


There are many reasons why we feel the need to be Validated at any point in our lives.


If you can, I invite you to take a moment to notice this coming up for you.


Can you take a moment to breathe into it. Feel your feet on the ground. And ask yourself, where are you feeling this in your body.


And just notice what arises. Know that whatever comes up, is ok. It can feel pretty uncomfortable.


As we know, healing comes from getting uncomfortable.


And what we desire now in getting our needs met at this point in time, is most likely from an unmet need when we were younger.


You will keep searching to get this need met, in possibly unhealthy ways if not healed.


These things can hold us back from living out our best lives. From truly feeling what it is like to be whole, without living from needing validation from others of how we are doing and being.


If you feel guided, I would like to offer up a Discovery Session so that we can have a conversation of Compassionate Inquiry. To inquire compassionately as to what is unhealed, in a safe, non-judgmental space.


This still falls in the realm of Coaching for me.


If you are curious you can reach out anytime.


"What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it."

-Gabor Mate'



all my Love & Support,

Theresa

Empowering you to take Inspired Action.





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