The Realization
I have come to a realization these past couple of weeks......
It has been for the 2nd time now, I have shared recently my story of my past 2 years and what they have encapsulated. And once again I heard “You have really been through a lot”.
This time it really hit home, all that I have moved and continue to grow through. So many things.......SO. MANY. THINGS.
For the past 2 years I have been moving through what some call The Dark Night of the Soul Journey.
What the heck is “The Dark Night of the Soul” you are probably wondering?
The dark night of the soul is a stage in personal development when a person undergoes a difficult and significant transition to a deeper perception of life and their place in it. This enhanced awareness is accompanied by a painful shedding of previous conceptual frameworks such as an identity, relationship, career, habit or belief system that previously allowed them to construct meaning in their life.
I feel like you can have a couple of these in a lifetime and maybe one or two are more intense and profound than the others. As I am writing, I am thinking some people might associate the Dark Night of the Soul also feeling like a mid-life crisis. Well I am 43 so anything is possible!
And I know that what I have been through has been the journey of the Dark Night of the Soul for sure. It has felt like two years of walking in the desert with no water. It has felt two years of existing. It has been 2 years of wondering what the fuck is going on. It has been 2 years of making not great choices and also some really empowering ones. It has been 2 years of knowing my relationship with God has been growing more intimate and I had never felt so far away from Him.
I believe these times, when things feel inside out, outside in, they are preparing us.
God is preparing us. In the moment, it might feel like life is happening to me and not for me. It might feel so alone. It might feel like, please someone throw me a life raft. It might feel like, I can’t handle another wound opening up to heal. It might feel completely fucked up and messy.......I felt fucked up and messy.......A LOT.
Here’s what I know about being the human and Waymaker I am: The only truth from the above statements was, life has been messy.
Friends, for the loved of God please allow your life to be messy!
At this point of my journey October 28th, I feel like I have given birth in a sense to a Theresa I am still getting to know, yet she feels so familiar.
As a Life Coach, I believe that God has implanted within us/equipped us with everything we are needing to keep evolving into the next evolution of ourselves. This constant evolution (because if one thing be true in this life, life is ever changing and so are we) is ultimately moving us into our most authentic God aligned self and life.
There is one caveat........It’s YOUR choice whether you stay in the familiar, safe, comfortable OR step into your courage, your resiliency, your trust in God, get uncomfortable so that you can grow and heal.
And if anyone knows me, you know I am forever challenging myself to know and heal the deepest depths that have created me.
I’m forever curious how I tick as well as others, which is why I am a Life Coach.
With the knowing and healing comes growth and deeper connection with my walk in Faith and myself. I become even more aligned with the human God is desiring me to be, which ultimately is more like Him.
I will share more soon, today I just want to acknowledge myself and the work I have done to Be Here Now....in this Moment. It’s been an extremely challenging journey and wouldn’t you know, I wouldn’t change a thing.
This next version Theresa, is becoming softer, allowing herself to be supported by a man (who happens to be her amazing husband), more intune with her finances, appreciating her craft more, having more enjoyment, more satisfied........that is all for now.
Can you resonate with any of this?
Give me an “Amen” in the comments.
I see you.
Keep showing up.
The world needs more people like us to share what is possible through life’s messy times.
I see you,
I love you,
Theresa